On New Year's Resolutions...

As 2009 is winding down, I am reflecting on my resolutions from this year. Generally I make a resolution and have forgotten it by February. This year I vowed, would be different. They were as follows-

1. Get my dream job
2. Get my house
3. Fall in love

By February, I was working at the FIM and loving it. By May, I had my house and although it has sometimes been a source of consternation, I love it. By September, I had fallen in love. Successful right? As 2009 progressed, I realized that I had met my resolutions, but I still wasn't happy. Somethings didn't work out (see #3). I was waiting before I took steps - waiting until the time was right to seriously date, to finish my master's, to decorate my house, to get my life in order, etc. I have been waiting for that right time before I did what I should have been doing all along. I thought when the time was right, it would all fall in place and I would be happy. That by waiting, I wouldn't have to deal with pain or failure.

Recently I have realized - the time will never be right. There are people smarter, skinnier, prettier, better organized then me who aren't happy. Why did I think that my life would be better when I was any of those things. I've had to lose some opportunities, had to lose some loved ones before I got it.

Life is too short.

So rather then make a new resolution this year, to make a promise that I will most likely break by February, I just am. Life is not beginning, it is continuing for me. For the first time in a long time, I love me. So here is my statement.

I am not waiting.